Letter in the Newspaper

While reading this week’s newspaper, I found this letter to the editor:

“Dear Editor:

“A stinky problem has emerged in our fair city—a very stinky problem. I’m talking about all of the skunks that have been infesting our crawl spaces, garages and shrubbery. They are a problem that affects us all for sanitary and other olfactory concerns.

 

“The lady on channel 5 said that there are so many because of the wet fall we had last year and that they had lots of food. She said they could be a nuisance –haha, and that it was best not to feed them. I guess they don’t have skunks from wherever she’s from because who would feed a skunk? The problem really is that drug dealers use the smell to cover illegal things up and that’s a threat to us all.

“Folks who want to get rid of them can do several things. Yu can trap them and take them far away, but your car will smell bad. Better to have a truck. Skunks like to eat acorns so if you have oak trees you should pick them up. We should also pass a law against those acorn people because it was OK when they were just feeding squirrels, but now we have a problem.

“The city council and mayor need to work on this problem, and not with some socialist money spending program where they import the special lady skunks who don’t smell to interbreed with the skunks around here. That would not work, like it did when they bought mongooses to Hawaii.

“Please call your councilman and urge them to find a solution for this problem. The safety of our community depends upon it.

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